Nosy-Ass Question for You About Making Out

Today's reader mail reminded me of the olden days of the blog when it was about married women and how the fuck they were dealing with the realities of married sex. Over the years (four!), it has become way less Studs Terkel-ish and sociological and more Onahole-ish, which, quite frankly, I have no excuse for.

Anyway, here's an earnest letter from "Janet," that reminds me of the blog of yore, née "In Thy Bede Withe Thee Married Wiffe."

Hi! I love your blog. I know this is somewhat tame, but as a person who has been with the same man for about 6 years, and has sex regularly, I wonder about making out. We haven't sat around and made out since about 4 months into our relationship. There is occasional kissing during sex, but really not much. And really, thinking about sitting on the couch and making out seems kind of gross to me now. Is that normal? Do people who have been married for 20 years make out with each other? Maybe you could take a poll. I keep wondering why we don't do that so much (couples in general) as we do when we first meet. Thanks!

Now, this is actually completely interesting to me because not so long ago two different women confided in me (note: don't confide in me) that although they were still somewhat into having sex with their long-time husbands (depending on vagaries of their moods, how pissed off they were, how interesting their book/show/other diversion was, etc...) they were super-not into kissing the husbands.  Like kissing seemed...yes...gross!

So what is that? Has anyone else has a similar experience?

I have a poorly-formed theory that it has to do with hormones--the basic idea being that before one's puberty hormones kick in, kissing seems disgusting and maybe there is sort of a return to that kissing=icky mode as one's hormones recede again with time. Anyone? Yes?

Whatever it is, it's a crying shame because there is nothing better than being kissed by someone who knows how to kiss the hell out of you.

Last week, I watched a video from One Taste on the pleasures of making out as an experience, not a route to something else. Though it's not gonna tell you anything you don't already know (plus you have to put your email address in to watch it), it did remind me of the delightful sensuality of making out. The sexy deliberate kisses finding sweet, soft places on their neck, the focus on sucking on an earlobe the exact right way to make them groan, the deep melty, lust-heavy kisses with swollen lips and sort of desperate pressing against each other through your clothes and feeling the hard ridge of cock*. God. Remember this?

So yeah. Are you doing that anymore? And if not, why not? Spill it.

xoxo
jill

*Or whatever it is/was you feel/felt. Don't want to be too hetero-normative.

(p.s. while looking for a photo, I came across this one which I love, though prob. a bit too penisy for me to post. I'm in enough damn trouble already. Nothing stopping you from looking though...)