Matthew Stillman's "Genesis Deflowered" and Other Readers Out Doing Stuff

While my primary accomplishment today was drinking an entire pot of coffee, IBWMW readers are out there making %&*% happen.

--Consider longtime Friend of IBWMW Matthew Stillman. He just released the book, Genesis Deflowered --a tarting up of the King James version of the Bible, written in the same language. (i.e. "Sedeqetelebab did pray for strength in the staff of Shem; and she did find her heart there.")

The idea wasn't so much to make Bible smut, but to start a conversation about religion and sex, in a scholarly sort of way.  “Religion and love get along incredibly well, but religion and sex don’t,” said Stillman in this interview with Fox News. “There is sort of this flirtation they have in the Bible, and so I felt that to be able to feel this more deeply and to speak it in the original Elizabethan English would be a way to have that conversation happen and have people connect to it in a new way.”

Even though his project was completely over my head and I was a terrible support team, pretty much only offering a "Yes, you go on and write that book" as my "help," Stillman dedicated the damn thing to me. So feel free to order a copy or two of Genesis Deflowered and throw a few shekels his way.

More at Chaffyn.com

--Meanwhile, longtime IBWMW Big Daddy Chaffyn has been working--mad-scientist-like-- on a IBWMW University site which grows stranger each day.  Right now, he reports, it's "feral, fetal, prenatal, unfit for human consumption."

In the meantime, Chaffyn had this to say about the post on Authentic Happiness.

"Anyone with an IQ above a fish (and fish are naturally happy) who isn't astounded perpetually by the miracle and luck of their amazing sentience and who isn't grateful for this brief chance to live on this gorgeous, fragile rock in the freaking middle of NOWHERE and who doesn't understand that there are far too few hours in each day to completely take care of what should be a plethora of interests and explorations, practice their native skills, create or appreciate something jaw-dropping beautiful, watch a tiny spider weave a web, make sure their friends are laughing and that the despondent ones get a few strokes, dote on their mate, stir up a couple of very tasty meals has got problems I don't know how to fix and I can fix just about anything. Oh, I didn't mention doing the laundry, folding it, and putting it away. Good grief. People are bored???"

Which, yes, yes, well said. See more of and/or order Chaffyn's artwork here.

--And finally, reader T wrote this response to True Husband's Tale, "Having no intimacy with her for 23 years is killing me."

My story is similar (37 year marriage) but rather than “vulvodynia” my wife suffers from depression and alcoholism.  Things changed after our daughters were born in the early 1990s.  My wife is angry that I did not know she was having problems back then.  But she did a good job of hiding it, I was busy trying to make a small business successful against difficult odds.  I could have been a more understanding partner.  When I asked about the no sex situation, I became a pig in her eyes.  She thought my only concerned was “getting some”.  I have never been able to make wife understand the deep emotional and spiritual connection that grows from intimacy.  She was raised to be a good Catholic girl that did not do whorish things – ever.  In her mind anything sexual is whorish.  The more I tried to fix our relationship, the worse it got.

I have been researching ours and other troubled relationships over the past 10 years.  Everyone asked, “When will you fix yourself?”  About 2 years ago I finally “got it” that I could not fix my wife.  I could only fix myself.  I needed to wake up to the fact that our sex life was over.

I’m 62 years old.  My mother and my wife’s parents are all in their 80s (and damn close to their 90s).  I see old age up close and personal every day.  It is sad and scary.  I will be there in 20 years and if I’m going to enjoy my life – I had better get busy.

No sex means no endorphins, no dopamine.  It is an emasculating process.  Thank God for the Internet and the many friends I found there.  Troubled long term marriages are everywhere.  The number of people seeking the thrill of romanc , lust and desire is huge.  I have had a few flings that brought me back to life.  When physical love returned to my life, the endorphins and dopamine also returned.  I glowed with a positive energy that drew other people to me.  Ladies were flirting with me in the grocery store and everywhere I went – and I was flirting right back.  I can do more pushups and sit-ups today than I could do when I was 40 years old.  Staying fit has become very important to me.  Before intimacy returned to my life, I did not care if I was dead or still breathing ( I can’t use the word “alive”).

Men cannot live without sex (in whatever form their health allows) lives.  They can occupy space on this planet,  but they cannot live.  I’m confident that the same is true for women.  What is the purpose of life if one cannot live?  I don’t like being a “cheater” but I know that splitting up a family and jointly owned property is messy.  Timing can minimize collateral damage.  In a few more months changing my life will be less catastrophic.  That is when, I will stop being a cheater and reclaim my inalienable right to the pursuit of happiness.

Having studied this dilemma of human beings following man made marital laws for governing property, possessions and wealth.  Then, looking deep into my organic motivators for joy and bliss, I see the laws of nature in conflict with those of man.  It seems that evolution designed us to become bored with our mates at some point and take our genealogy elsewhere.  This TED clip, Esther Perel: The Secret to Desire in a Long Term Relationship, is the best explanation I have found of this paradox.

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And that is all for today. Have a lovely weekend.
*end transmission*
jill

(Image via Chaffyn.com, "Even Before the Other Players Revealed Their Hands Alice Knew the Gator Was Hers.")