 |
| Mounds brandishing her weapon of choice. |
OK, it's been awhile since I literally jumped out of my seat:
,
GAHHH!!!!
I don't even know where to start with this one; the creepy '70s molestache, the Jay Leno-sized chin, or how about the ROWS OF FUCKING SPIKES INSIDE?
Also, there's something oddly familiar about this...thing.
It's reminding me of something...
Someone...
Someone from my past...
Wait! I've got it!
AHHHHHHH!!!
There you have it folks: your childhood, ruined. Again.
You're welcome!
Again, that was Miss Molly Mounds at Scary Sextoy Friday.
Oddly, the Molestache also reminds me of a Jim Henson creature, only in my case, it's Cookie Monster.* I feel that this toy would, for sure, make a Cookie Monster-esque "Mmmwahhh, ummmmwha" chomping sound as it serviced your member.
Anyway, if I did have a member wishing to be serviced, I would be way too afraid to stick it in there. Who knows what the hell might lurk inside? If the scary pokey spikes are the thing you can see, I'm guessing something even worse hides in its bowels. An evil gnome? The entrance to Narnia? The imprisoned and miniaturized cast of Starsky and Hutch? I don't know, but I'm not hanging around to find out.
And you? Your thoughts?
* Addendum: I am not proud to admit this, but after writing this, I interrupted my important vacuuming duties and googled "cookie monster sex" to discover if anyone did, indeed, harbor sexual fantasies about the insatiable blue Muppet. Besides an oddly high number of Youtube videos of Cookie Monster having sex with, among others, Barbie and Elmo, I found the following chart from LA Weekly, detailing the results of a UCLA sex survey of college students. The question here was: Which innocent childhood fantasies could best morph into adult sexual fantasies?
bye.
7 comments:
That thing is by far one of the most terrifying things I have ever seen. I agree that it looks like it is from Jim Henson's muppet sex toy collection. Ew!
http://www.ashafulife.blogspot.com
Oh, eeewwwwww. Do you see the prong thingies inside the mouth?? Eeewww.
Great! Now Ill be thinking about sex with the count for the rest of the day. Aboslutely hillarious.
Mustache thingy not so funny. That looks like it could do some serious damage.
I *so* did not need to think that about The Count. My weekend plans are ruined. He's gonna wonder why I'm giggling. :)
That is truly hideous. I'm going to have to give that the ABSOLUTE LOWEST POSSIBLE score on the guy "I would stick my thing in there" scale.... 5.5 out of 10.
I have no words, Jill.
But a slightly sick feeling?
That's here.
- B x
Please don't mock my callowness when I say, and with utmost gravity, "how does that molestache even work?!" Seriously. I don't get it. It WOULD scare me, except I'm starting at it right now perplexed at how inscrutable it is. I guess this is what I get for being a teenager taking baby steps in the world of sex... That's a really interesting study, and I'm actually pretty happy to see pretty predictable answers such as "pink ranger," "teachers," and "babysitters." But fetishes I would think to be anomalies somehow turned up enough times to be counted... But OH GOD I finally died from laughter at the end.. seriously I could imagine redtube.com posting a video of the count vigorously nailing a chick doggy style, while simultaneously (and in a detached manner) reciting, "One thrust... hahaha" Not too long ago my boyfriend and I were teasing each other about kissing. I asked for a thousand kisses and he says in typical Count impersonation, "one kiss *smooch* ah ha ha ha."
Post a Comment