A message on behalf of the In Bed With Married Women Accordion-Playing Monkey

If you were going to do any holiday shopping through Amazon anyway, feel incredibly free to use the Amazon search box over there in the right margin. See it? Yes, there it is! Hmmmm...that baby sure looks easy to use. Your holiday shopping could be done in a matter of minutes!

Plus, each purchase tosses me and the monkey a few pennies, which helps pay for monkey food, tin cups, accordion sheet music, Lexapro, little red and white striped monkey-sized pants, matching grey top hats for the monkey and me (for winter evenings when we get chilly), and the expensive ten dollar vocabulary words we're so fond of. (Long term goal: a machine that will magically remove prepositions from the end of our sentences. See also: previous sentence.)

And by the way, let's see--together--what posts come up on the "You Might Also Like..." automatic feature below. I picture the algorithm that decides such things throwing up its metaphorical hands in dismay at the impossibility of its task with this particular post. "If they like accordion-playing monkeys, they will like, what...Manginas? NO, dammit, this blog--it gives me nothing to work with!" it shouts in its robotic voice, untying its apron, throwing it to the ground, and stalking off two full hours before closing time.