What is Feminist Porn Anyway?

Well, my friends, I am a feminist porn virgin no longer. As faithful In Bed With Married Women readers will recall, I've written about porn before here (and okay, here, too, geez, get off my back) but had only seen the usual freely available Internet variety, i.e. guy porn. This weekend, I broke down and ordered some so-called feminist porn. I was quite pleased to discover that feminist porn was not--as I had halfway feared--naked chicks sitting around discussing equal pay for equal work, but rather porn designed to appeal to women.

The movie I got was called Matinee. Here's the blurb for it:

Two theatre actors who play onstage lovers without much zing -- until one critical peformance, when they decide to improvise. The results will thrill you as much as they do the Matinee audience who watches them really begin to make love. Bridging the gap between indy art film and sex film, this plot-driven, scripted mini-featurette by US-born, Amsterdam-based filmmaker Jennifer Lyon Bell features real actors performing their first-ever explicit scene, not porn performers, and the result is smart, nuanced, and oh-so-sexy.

I was into the idea of porn as "smart" and "indy art film," so I had high hopes. And damned if the thing didn't totally work for me. I was quite surprised, actually, that I liked all the emotional stuff, fuller story line, etc... I had no idea I was, yeesh, such a... girl.

So now, much like Tiresias (yes, most of my knowledge of Greek mythology comes from Peter Gabriel-era Genesis records), I feel that I have experienced the male and the female side of things. Well, at least porn watchin' kinds of things.

With Matinee, I could see all the appealing-to-the-ladies elements in action, but I still fell for every last one. And what exactly are these elements of girl porn? Well, here, I made a list for you. Perhaps you can clip it and consult it next time you're watching porn.

    1. First, the male has a personality, and good one at that. But, perhaps more importantly, he also has an Irish accent, which makes lines like "Darlin,' you've got to throw yerself into the act of luve," sound like fine advice rather that cheesy come ons.
     2. There is tons of communication, especially eye contact, between the leads. The couple is constantly giving each other visual feedback during sex. It adds a emotional layer, that, yes--girl that I am--I did appreciate. Instead of the guy seeming to have no other emotion than the usual "You have hole. Me put dick in hole," this guy seems to be (very well) appreciating the act as it unfolds.
     3. It is SLOW. I despise how regular porn generally shows men pounding away endlessly like a jackhammer. It always makes it seem like they have, like, numbing cream on their genitalia and thus need to thrust away all the more furiously to feel something. Matinee guy moves slowly in the woman, as though he is so aroused he needs to move gently. For women (okay, maybe only me), slow=hot.
     4. The girl seems to be having a real sexual experience. Her arousal grows gradually, like a real woman's arousal. There is none of the usual porn actress fake, and generally pained sounding, dialogue of "Ohyeahohyeahohyeah."
     5. It uses the common female fantasy of a women finding the man who is able to awaken her sexual abandon. In Matinee, the female frets over not being able to let loose in her onstage love scene. What better way to overcome one's inhibitions than a dark-haired Irish dude urging you to "Throw yerself into the act of luv"? (Gentlemen, if any of you are still with me here, this is your takeaway: ALL women want to be swept away by desire. If you can help them get there, you are so in.)

After seeing my girl porn, now I'm all freaked out by gender differences. When men and women are having sex, do they really see it as differently as our porn seems to indicate? Are men just thinking "me fill hole" and women seeing an intricate story of arousal and shared passion? I am not trying to be a sexist jerk--I really want to know. I am also so curious what a man would think about this kind of female-friendly porn. Would all the kissing and slow build-up be completely boring? I mean, there are shots of the man sensuously stroking the woman's shoulder, for fuck's sake. And what do women think of it? Too porny? Too tame? What?

And if any of you watch this movie, I would LOVE to hear what you think, especially you men.