Behold! The New Contest Has Arrived.

The fabulous prize this time around? This lovely "Night of Romance Kit" from Good Vibrations, purveyors of pro-sex goodies that range from nice little romantic candle/massage oils all the way up to scary, alarmingly large plug things for people's butts. (Instructions: place item in butt.)

Mmmmmmm, free stuff.

If I were feeling testy, I would award the prize to the first reader brave enough to watch the E.T. porn (bear witness to the horror--or don't--in the post The Most Unsexy Porn EVER). But I am full of soy latte and all's right with the world, so I will give you a simpler task. Well, sort of simpler. It's actually kind of multi-tiered. Here's what you do: Be the first to correctly post the name of any one of the items from the Night of Romance Kit (shown above) on the wall of In Bed With Married Women Facebook page. All right then, don't tarry now and good luck.